Digital Joe #2

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Oscar and Emmy nights are kind of like holidays for me; they´re a time to just plop down in front of the TV and become an armchair quarterback. (I do the same thing for Detroit Lions football and Houston Rockets basketball...anyone fluent in sports knows just how well those franchises are doing lately.) In the past, I have picked Oscar winners ahead of time only to make a complete fool of myself.

So I didn´t do it this year. Sure, I looked over the list of nominees and made mental notes about who I´d like to see win (hint: if you had anything to do with "Brokeback Mountain" I was definitely in your camp this year). There wasn´t a bet or a reputation on the line because, frankly, by the time Sunday morning rolled around, I had grown very tired of the continuous Oscar "buzz".

Turn on local ABC news, they had an Oscar feature. Turn on a college basketball game and some announcer thought he was spiffy because he worked in an Oscar reference. E, CNN, MSNBC...they all had Oscar stuff on. This year the Oscar´s seemed like a chore to watch for some reason. I enjoy Jon Stewart´s "Daily Show" as much as the next person-well, maybe not the next person if you´re a card carrying devotee of Dubya-and I do try to catch the show when I can. It goes on past my bedtime and on the nights I do stay up later, Stewart isn´t on.

What passed as the Oscar ceremony this year was a travesty. From the opening roll call of previous presenters in hit movies passing on the chance to host again to the barrage of "film clips all the time" to some glaring omissions in the "In Memoriam" feature, this was plain garbage. (Told ya last week I don´t pull any punches, didn´t I?)

Jon Stewart, for what he was allowed to do, was just fine. The problem was with what he was allowed to do, ironically. If you watch "The Daily Show," you know Stewart has a biting wit. The funniest thing he mentioned all night was Dick Cheney shooting Bjork. Poor guy. It looked and felt like he just wanted to go off on someone all night for something but was held back.

I know, I know...some of you are gonna say at least we were spared a Michael Moore-type speech when he won for "Fahrenheit 9/11". At least that show had some pizzazz and controversy to it; Oscar ´06 played it too safe.

Even people who normally speak out on political issues like George Clooney kept their mouths shut. Clooney won for Best Supporting Actor ("Syriana") and did a thing come out of his mouth resembling a pointed comment at the state of the country? Nope. Absent also were Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, some of the usual rebel-rousers at the annual back-patting.

What was even more disturbing is the news that came out after the Oscars. More specifically, the charges that "Brokeback Mountain" was too controversial for the academy voters to award with the Best Picture Oscar. I have gone on record (shortly after a special screening of "Brokeback" I got to attend) saying that this was my favorite movie last year for a lot of different reasons.

Is it controversial? Sure. Is homosexuality a current hot button topic? Better believe it. Is "Brokeback Mountain" more controversial than "Crash" (the eventual winner)? I don´t know about that. I will be the first to say I have not had the chance to see "Crash" yet. I know the general story from what I´ve read and seen on TV. But how is violence, intolerance, racism and hate any less controversial than two males in love? Both of the topics addressed by the flicks are as current as we can get right now.

It all came down to which storyline the voters were more comfortable with: one with a happy ending ("Crash") and one with a decidedly downbeat, yet truer to life, ending ("Brokeback"). To tell you the truth I was wholly disappointed in that outcome.

Oh, I had more problems with this award ceremony even before the "Best" Picture Oscar was awarded. What in the world were the producers thinking with the montage-a-minute format? Was there really any point in a montage show? Sure, I can understand a retrospective for a major anniversary (50, 75, 100 years), but 78? Someone got incredibly lazy. (I also read this week the Oscar producers were looking to keep people tuned in because of the lack of blockbuster films up for the major awards. Guess everyone would have been happier if "King Kong", "The Chronicles of Narnia", "The Wedding Crashers", "Fantastic Four" and "Harry Potter" got Best Pic nods, huh?)

Need I even mention Best Original Song winner "It´s Hard Out Here for a Pimp"? Was this really the best song of the year? I didn´t flip the channel at all Sunday night; when Three 6 Mafia came on and "sang," I very nearly tuned out. This "music" doesn´t appeal to me and, if "Brokeback" didn´t appeal to a majority of the voters, how did "Pimp"? And don´t throw that "rap is the best-selling music out there". (It´s the best selling because all the suburban white boys want to appear to be hard asses to all their friends and the girls; that´s the only reason.)

And now I guess you want to know who was left out of the In Memoriam part of the show, right? Scotty and G´Kar, that´s who. Specifically, James Doohan of "Star Trek" fame as well as Andreas Katsulas, known to movie fans from "The Fugitive" and TV fans from "Babylon 5". Was it too hard to come up with two or three clips or to have the show run ten seconds longer so these two men could get their due?

Last, but definitely not least was Mr. President coming on stage and basically chastising the American public for not going to the theater more often. Honestly, about ten seconds into his speech, I mentally tuned out because I knew what it was going to be about. Note for next year: I don´t watch the Academy Awards to get a lecture on poor little Hollywood fighting the big bad pirates and whoever else. Period. Save the morals lesson for people who actually care.

Will I forsake the Oscars next year? Probably not because, like I said, it´s a holiday for me. But pull this kind of crap again and Jason will be angry.

And you won´t like me angry.

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